Christmas Spirit

Forgive this mention of the C-word so early into the season (of Autumn), but as they say, Christmas is just around the corner. My youngest asked me to count the weeks until the big day the other evening and I duly counted through my phone calendar. 13 weeks and counting!!!

Our annual trip to the Spirit of Christmas Fair is looming and the two girls aged ten and seven will be joining me. I do feel that children add an extra sparkle to the festivities. Whether they look through a lens with awe and wonder, or get up to general high jinks and mischief, display impatience and/or genuine joy at anything and everything Christmas, the holiday season is not complete without them. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of our two girls must be something truly magical.

The Spirit fair was first launched in 2001. Now based at Olympia London, there are over 700 brands to shop from, Spirit of Christmas is your go-to seasonal shopping destination. Unrivalled shopping and a wealth of festive inspiration, Spirit is Christmas joy in a bottle.

2023 sees the return of workshops. Offering inspiration and hands-on experience, visitors can enjoy a range of complimentary interactive sessions covering a broad range of Christmas ideas and gifts. The new official restaurant partner is acclaimed Spanish chef,  José Pizarro, with a tapas menu that showcases his signature dishes

Some of my favourite brands never fail to return time and time again. The Universal Soul Company rounded by Sara Griffiths is one of these. Sara Griffiths is the real deal. Hailing from QVC fame (those jobs are highly sought after and very competitive), the USC is a place for healing and positivity. One pump of the soul mist, and there I am, back on the mat, feeling all lightness and calm. From handbag sized sprays to luxury diffusers, you will leave Sara’s stand floating on a cloud.

Whatever your feelings are about Christmas, Spirit is sure to put a smile on your face. This year, the fair runs from 30 October to 5 November. We must just bump into you among the gifts and cheer. This year, Christmas starts at Spirit!

Long time no see

 I’ve been quiet on this blog for a while.

There are a number of reasons for this, some of which I won’t go into. Sometimes a social media cull and pause is exactly what you need. To remind you of the reason you first started writing, and to renew your intentions, drive and purpose.

I started writing to tell people about poor customer service experiences I had encountered while going about my daily life. At one point, I had racked up enough goodwill payments from Santander that I had enough to pay for a Mulberry bag on a Bicester trip. There was also that time that British Airways refused to sit my husband and I together on the return leg of our tour of China. Mr Cross looked at me, and asked if I was going to do my thing. I nodded so he said he would stand aside. Thirty minutes of English, Cantonese and Mandarin, with my negotiation skills that had been honed in private practice. The result: two club class tickets for the 11-hour flight back to Heathrow.

This post is two-fold. One, to go full circle back to my consumer complaints issues. And two, to highlight what someone said to me that struck a chord in relation to mental health matters.

I will start with the mental health issue. We are undergoing a programme of house renovation works, which is a more extensive process than you might think. Finding a person or company who looks half decent is one thing. But actually getting them to agree a time and then actually turn up is completely another.

When a supplier does turn up as agreed, the fact that this is novel and refreshing is both a good and bad thing. When did service standards get so sloppy so that you are pleasantly surprised that they arrive at the pre-arranged time?

So when one gentleman was actually early, what a shock! And then, the conversation turned to mental health. I am open about being bipolar, because I feel that we should encourage these chats. The man’s brother took his own life. No one had any idea of the predicament he was in. The phrase “the life and soul of the party” is banded around all too much. He was the guy that was always ready with a joke, cheering up everyone else, and carrying everyone else’s burden. But this was just a mask. He was alone, and felt he had nobody to turn to.

Returning to the customer service complaint, I asked to speak to a girl’s line manager as having explained that a bipolar episode was the reason a voucher had expired, the girl told me to get lost. This kind of behaviour is exhibited all to often at all levels of society. Whether it be that mental health is not a real thing, because it isn’t a broken leg, or because honestly “what have you got to be unhappy about?” This just shows the level of ignorance and lack of understanding and how despite politicians ranting on about how mental health matters, these words are meaningless without sincerity and true intent.

If there was one thing I would change about the world, it would be to imagine the consequences of one’s words on another if that person were at the complete pit of darkness stage in their lives. That there was no hope left, and a struggle to find anything worth living for. You never know what someone is going through. One smile, one laugh, one kind word, it might be only a small gesture from you, but it could mean the world to someone else. If you can be anything at all, be mindful.

Getting into the Spirit of Christmas...(Fair)

Apologies to the Spirit of Christmas Fair and stallholders for the late posting of this blogpost. Christmas got the better of us and the Cross Clan and extended family have been beset with ill health. So in the Spirit of Christmas, please extend your goodwill to this humble blogger... and wishing you a happy new year!

I was so excited to receive my invitation plus one - meaning taking along my usual shopping sidekick extraordinaire and long-suffering partner-in-crime, MIL to the Spirit of Christmas Fair at Olympia. Not put off by the transport troubles that meant that it took us four different trains to get there, we actually arrived about 15 minutes early and were ushered in out of the cold by security as we flashed our press passes.

Supershopper is one label I have been given in the past (among others... another I am fond of is a rotweiler with lipstick and heels...) and I hadn't even allowed myself to take my coat off before I spotted the most must-have cashmere jumper about five metres from the entrance. Cream with fluorescent stripes, I knew the minute I tried it on that the good old Amex would be taking a bashing. And it came with pockets too. In the boyfriend fit, style perfect for those sneaky autumn/winter evenings and for pottering about town. Given the recent torrential rain, I have me snug and smug in my new purchase. Courtesy of No. 42 West Street which hails from Hampshire and multi-talented enterpreneur that is Melita Glaister (pictured with me below, with said jumper). Melita was a modest yet confident hands-on company director that served me with pride.

Opposite purchase number one was a must-buy-something fun things for under tens stall. Quirky stationery, rucksacks and ornaments. I picked up an owl rucksack and a blue unicorn bag (a bit smaller than the owl one) so the girls had one each.

On the next stall that sparked my interest, I came across a huge smile that belonged to Joanne Thompson, who is an effervescent and genuinely friendly lady who I warmed to immediately. She is co-owner in the business Holly Zang, and her line in children's clothes is truly exquisite. The company was spotted by Vogue on Twitter a couple of years ago, and since then, the company have taken flight. I still regret not buying the ballet shoes cashmere jumper for my eldest (I might get nightmares about this one).

Is anyone trying Dry January? Not that it’s any of my business, but the forward thinking Seedlip have created a unique trio of non-alcoholic spirits with a complex blend of flavours.  I have since purchased further bottles from high street retailers and enjoyes them immensely. MIL approves too. 

The 2018 (I cannot quite bring myself to say “last year’s”) incarnation of the Spirit of Christmas Fair is much improved with a much broader variety of stalls to browse. Overall, a jolly good day out. Plenty to see, plenty to buy. Roll on this Christmas. As the snow falls on February Eve...

Getting my yogini on...

I didn’t know the term yogi or yogini before I met Hannah. I thought Yogi was a bear who lived in Jellystone Park! And yogini. That just sounds like bikini. Which given this weather makes me think of the beach...

Anyway, I first got in touch with Hannah when I noticed new temporary signage going up in town announcing an exciting new studio space opening soon. There was an email address posted in the window. And that’s how I met Hannah, because I got in touch to find out more. Hannah is a brilliant, confident, enthusiastic and caring studio owner. She is open to ideas about the development of her studio, and also has a very clear sense of vision about the direction of her new venture. And what a lovely new business to have in town. So very different from everything else on the high street. 

Not long after emailing in, on a sunny Saturday, A Fine Balance  launch day was upon us and there was an exciting buzz in the town centre. A modern and inviting studio flinging open its doors so that we could start our own yogini adventures.

A Fine Balance offers a broad range of classes, class times and memberships. I took up the special introductory offer of £15 for two weeks’ unlimited classes. A great way to road test the studio and to see how you get on with the classes and teachers. With such a great choice of times and sessions, there is sure to be something to please even the most discerning of yoginis. And for me, who has enjoyed many a yoga summer school with my mum from a young age, the flexibility and quality of lessons allows me to slot the studio into my timetable with complete ease.

I regularly attend barre (thanks Kate and Marcos for giving me back my ballet legs), and yoga flow is a lovely way to go through sequences with a more relaxed and calm feeling towards the end of the week. I used to make excuses or find myself pulling out of other exercise classes last-minute, or early in the evening the day before. This just doesn’t happen with yoga at the studio. Somehow, the sense of well-being that I know will come both during and at the end of a session overrides this.

On a personal note, I am in recovery for a bipolar episode that knocked me for six last summer. The road to recovery is long and challenging. With the support of family and friends, medical teams, and my healthy lifestyle support from A Fine Balance, I am dealing with medication changes and adjustments with a smile on my face and a positive outlook that makes me feel happy and content. Life can be tricky. For everyone. Yoga calms my mind, brushes away the daily rubbish that I do not need, and allows me to focus on myself. Yoga is not just about the physical. It’s about the mind too. 

So thank you to Hannah and A Fine Balance for the healing both inside and out. May the studio live long and prosper. Because we all could do with getting our yogini on. Namaste.

There ain’t no Mumma like a St Joe’s Mumma...

Have you ever dreamt of starting your own business and working for yourself? I know I have, but have never been brave enough, nor felt that anyone would be interested in my goods/services.

This post highlights three St Joseph’s mums that have not only had the guts to set up on their own, but also then managed to make a success of themselves. I have had the pleasure of getting to know these ladies, all kind-hearted, decent and bright people that have found their niche in their respective markets, while also doing a fine job of raising well-behaved children and looking after their families. So huge props to them - ladies - I couldn’t do it myself!

Hot Plates

Claire Pope shows her artistic flair in her customised crockery. Whether it be a personalised Santa plate complete with a spot for mince pies and a cheeky shot glass, named egg cups or (rumour has it) personalised Santa sacks (yes please Claire!!!) pop on over to Hot Plates to see what’s on offer. Mrs Pope’s talent is such that you can request a theme or character, and she can design something tailored to suit you.

Happy Hire Company

Anita Headley brings back the happiness of a good old-fashioned seaside holiday to my heart. This lady has not one, not two, but three beautiful beach huts in the wonderfully unspoilt Walton-on-the-Naze. I can personally vouch for Anita’s great taste in interior design having spent a lovely day in Forget-Me-Not. Her attention to detail is incredible and the care and love put into designing, decorating and styling the huts is really to be admired. Why not book your beach hut day to remember and take advantage of this fabulous sunshine?

The Little Dressing Room 

Nichola Brickell is a girl with style. And she wants the little ladies to have pretty things to wear too. Upminster and Hornchurch are screaming out for more quality and unique clothing for young girls so I was delighted to hear of Nichola’s venture. As a happy client myself, you can tell that Nichola has an eye for quality in her selection of this season’s key pieces. I now need her to stock in adult sizes too!

So why not check out these sites and partake in some of what’s available from great Essex enterprises. Come rain or shine, these business will have something to make you smile. Guaranteed.

Ideal Home Snow 2018

A snowy start to the show! A quick check online to confirm that TFL were able to cope with a light dusting, and I was out the door.  Mother-in-law (MIL) (aka shopping partner-in-crime, aka companion-in-credit-card-bashing) and I set out from Upminster to the now established venue of Olympia. The journey has become marginally annoying, now that we need to change at Earl’s Court and wait for an Olympia-specific train, rather than merely alighting at the former venue. But that’s progress for you (or so they say), and no doubt a property developer is doing rather well out of the move.

As free ticket holders (thank you press office), we were directed to enter through entrance three, which was not only the furthest entrance from the tube exit, the least attractive entrance point (compared to the main entrance complete with faux grass sign and piper) and also happened to be the glass doors that served as a staff and exhibitor entry gate. The queue which led right out beyond the foyer into the cold, windy and sleety street was crowded with people who seemed to delight in incessant moaning about the weather, while other guests were more jovial in spirit, joking as to the black market into staff passes so we could also queue jump and be let in early.

The first stall that caught my attention was Vallente of London. The open and friendly attitude of Andy Goss, with none of the hard sell so typical of those in the luxury goods market meant that we could spend time getting to know the products before making a relaxed and happy decision. As it was, MIL and I both purchased a great giftset that included a choice of two main products (we both chose a candle (RRP £20) and a hand and body lotion (RRP £18) with a bonus pot of hand cream. The bundle price was good value at £25.

I was initially interested in the products as I was looking for a rich cream to rehydrate my daughter’s skin. She is about to turn two and suffered from a rather nasty bout of chicken pox. I applied the moisturiser after her bath and the skin was immediately supple, soft and smooth. The effects lasted overnight and well into the morning, as I can now happily attest.

A shiny stall that caught my eye was funky big metal london led by designer James McGrath, who first started out in the true meaning of a start up cottage industry in his mother’s garden shed. Happily (for James’ mother) production now takes place in Elephant & Castle. James still plays a key role in design and overseeing production and is also committed to social responsibility and environmental protection, which now increasingly can play a key role in a customer’s decision to make a purchase. 

After scanning the stall with a beady eye, I happened across these cactus earrings, a complete steal at £10.

Being British-born Chinese, I have a soft spot for jade, used to commemorate and celebrate key milestones. I had always intended to buy “birth jade” for my two daughters and returned to Helen Fung’s Happy Dragon to purchase pink and purple matching pendants (£38 each) having first met Helen at the show some four years ago. Obviously a happy repeat customer, albeit with a sizeable interval in between!

The feel of the IHS has changed a great deal. Smaller home grown businesses have been pushed out in favour of large nationwide corporations that dominate the mass expanse of the main exhibition floor. A few token stands are left around the edges of the ground floor for oddly placed scented candle stalls, as though they have been left out in the cold. Whether this is for better or worse is neither here nor there. If you are after a fun day out with lots to see without a specific large-scale purchase in mind, then you’re in the right place. All in all, the IHS is still worth coming to, it’s just that you often come home with a miscellany of items you had no idea you needed, but with a smile on your face, which is a sure sign of a great day out. IHS, ‘til the next time...

Bipolar with babies

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at school in the sixth form after suffering difficulties when my parents separated. My parents are now back together. To say that the time was challenging was a bit of an understatement, but I scraped through my A-levels and got a place at the University of Leicester to study Law with French Law and Language with a year in Lyon studying for a French law diploma.

I never viewed my condition as a disability - rather as a small illness allowing me to recognise my limitations while still living a happy and full life. With an IQ of 163 and a training contract with a top ten US law firm, I certainly did not let bipolar hold me back.

At the back of my mind I always knew I would need to be careful with pregnancy - a consultant did warn me that this would be a true test of how severe my condition actually was. Due to the huge amount of support from an amazingly understanding husband, parents and siblings, in-laws, close friends and superb guidance from the Havering perinatal service, we have two beautiful daughters, and we are doing well.

It doesn't mean I don't have bad days. A poor night's sleep can rapidly change an everyday situation into a scene of desperation. Baskets of washing piling up with no respite, challenging discussions with the toddler in the supermarket while the baby is kicking off, with a leaking nappy and a top covered in sick. Some of the vomit has been transferred to your shoulder, but you only realise too late that you have been walking around with a "designer stain" for most of the day. In a typically British self-deprecating fashion, I lament about how I haven't really done very much in a day, despite having gotten up, showered, dressed, dressed the two girls, fed them, done teeth, finished homework, put on a wash, prepared hubby's office coffee, fed myself, straightened up the living room, tidied away some toys, opened the morning post, put the junk into recycling... all before 9am.

A combination of the legal training, the Chinese background and the British stiff upper lip prevent me from sharing my woes on Facebook. I did start trying to share some of my moans, but was put off by the small number of likes this attracted and decided that this was probably not want my friends wanted to hear, no matter how cathartic I found it. Instead I post cute pictures of the girls, and big smiles. But as a good friend once said, on Facebook we tell lies to our friends, and on Twitter we tell the truth to strangers. Although some of this rings true, the reality is that I am the same person to all I meet. I once took an in-depth personality analysis test at work. The results were startling. The two graphs comparing my behaviour at home and at the office were close on identical. The analyst said she had never seen anything like it.

If I were to offer any advice to other mums who might be going through tough times, I would just keep it simple by saying that rest is key. If you look after yourself you can look after others so much better. You can only do your best. And even when you don't feel your best, the fact that you worry about that is proof enough that you are doing great. Everyone has their opinion on how best to do something, and we come from all walks of life with different backgrounds, cultures and experiences. We must always do what works best for us. We might make mistakes and fall down. But we sure as hell get back up again, and try and try again. Because we can. Because we care. Just because.

And we are awesome. So just tell yourself that. Every day. Because that awesome carries across to the little ones too. Because awesome breeds awesome.